Scott’s Whirlwind Date With Justagirl (Bonus Dating Tips For Guys)

Two Saturdays ago was the 13-hour long cultural event, Sleepless Night, taking place all over South Beach and Miami Beach. I would’ve attended except I went on my own Sleepless Night event, an 11-hour long date all over South Beach and Miami Beach (AND Kendall – I win! In your face, culture!).

This was my second date with Justagirl. Our first date went pretty well and given my dating history, I was happy. In fact, I was so happy that I told all of my friends, all of my neighbors, and all of… well, pretty much everyone I knew. “You wouldn’t believe it! She’s really, really great. Smart. Funny. Cynical. Easy going. Everything. Everything I would look for in a woman, she has. And she didn’t drool! AND not only did she look like her photos, but she looked… the eyes, my god, the eyes! And…. Ay yi yi!”

The Whirlwind Date

Anyway, we had decided that we should do something fun and different for our second date. It was going to be all about the simple, if not cheesy, pleasures. We talked on the phone and decided on the following for what would be dubbed our whirlwind date: skating at a roller rink, bowling at an alley, shooting pool somewhere, AND playing ping pong.

Yeah. In one date. I told Justagirl that I would handle the details and then that Saturday, we would go on this date of epic proportions. She of course, reminded me then, and throughout the week, that I could look forward to being schooled in all events. (Awww. So cute when she gets all competitive.)

When I told my friends of the planned date, they said I was nuts. It sounded like great fun, but that it was going to be too long. Why not just schedule four dates instead of one? “You’ll never be able to do it all,” they would say. They had good points. Mostly the one about me being nuts.

And I wonder about that sometimes. Maybe I AM nuts. Maybe I’m really not that smart. Maybe I’m a special kind of retarded, one that science hasn’t mapped to a specific area of the brain yet. OR maybe it’s the case that I’m some sort of genius just unheard of before now. But when you’ve failed as much as I have, you don’t go for the win; you instinctively go for the lose. So the first scenario seems more likely.

Date Planning, as Performed by the Mentally Challenged

Regardless of my retarded genius, planning the date was not a simple task. A quick search on Google delivered the roller skating rink, Super Wheels Miami. I knew that Lucky Strike Bowling was here on South Beach, and I had just recently discovered that Felt on Washington was a billiards bar. So the only thing I had left to figure out was the ping pong. Searching on Google for ping pong was proving to be useless. So I actually ended up turning to the forums at MiamiBeach411. After raising the question, trying to be all nonchalant about why I was looking for a ping pong table, Gus, the site administrator for MiamiBeach411, advised me of a couple of places around and then mentioned the possibility of maybe sneaking into a couple of the hotels that reportedly had tables. Hm. Sneaking into a hotel on a date. Why yes, I think that’ll do nicely.

That Thursday, I went by the Royal Palm hotel to check out the first of the three on my list. No ping pong table. I walked toward the Haddon, but as I looked at it from across Collins, I thought, “Yeah, I think we’ll skip going ghetto.” I was beginning to worry that the date would include some time at the Scott Rakow Youth Center which would seriously suck since they were only open during daylight hours. Nothing says sexy-time like a daytime date at a youth center.

So the last hope of us having an evening date was the Surfcomber hotel. When I walked up to registration at the Surfcomber, one of the women behind the counter said they didn’t have a ping pong table. But the other woman (after seeing the despair in my eyes possibly) said that she thought they DID have one out in the cabanas by the pool. Excellent. There was some arguing in Spanish after I left.

I walked out to the pool area, and lo and behold, there was a man standing guard in front of a cabana, a folded up ping pong table behind him. Score. I ask him if I can use the table. He says, “Sure.” Doesn’t bother to ask if I’m a guest. Then I say, “Well, not now, I have a date Saturday night and wanted to play then.” And then I think I’ve blown some kind of cover like I’m on some secret mission. And then I wonder if maybe I should’ve worn a disguise. I thank him for the info and leave. Date planning done. Mostly.

The Magic of Scooters and Why You Need One

The last problem remaining was logistics. With Justagirl living out in Mainland Suburbia, obviously a car or two would be necessary. But once we get to South Beach…? And here, I would like to specifically address the male population: if there is but one lesson for you to take away from this story, it is this: get a scooter. Get a scooter now. Take your date on a scooter. Buy one, rent one, borrow one, whatever you have to do short of stealing one. And even then… no, don’t steal.

Every man I’ve talked to who has taken dates on scooters and every woman who has ridden on the back of one on a date all chant the same mantra: Women love scooters. That said, if you have manboobs, back fat, or tend to be gassy, maybe hold off on the scooter. Maybe. I don’t know. Some women like those things.

The day of the date arrives. I had checked scooter prices the night before around Miami Beach. It was looking like I could get one for about $50 for the day with a $300 deposit. I was just about to call when my neighbor Ralph simply offered to let me borrow his scooter for the night. Ralph is now my hero.

Game Day

Three hours before the date, now in “game plan mode,” my neighbors had me panicking. “This isn’t going to work. You’ll never be able to do all of this. You need to ditch something.”
“No, I can do it. We’ll just do an hour at each place. It’ll be cool.”
“Ditch the skating and bring it all to South Beach. Screw Kendall. Otherwise, you might lose her and never make it to the beach.”
“Skating is the one thing I CAN’T ditch. Justagirl told me that it’s entirely possible that she might do the squat-and-extend –a-leg move on the floor and if she does, I HAVE to see that!”

Gravity is for Losers or Roller Skating in Your 30s

Around 8:30ish, Justagirl and I meet at Super Wheels Miami. The line outside only had about 20 people in it. And when I say people, what I mean is kids. I suddenly felt very old. We finally make it inside; $20 for the two of us.

Now, if you haven’t roller skated in a while, know that it’s just like riding a bike. A bike that’s been run over, rusted out and doesn’t have a seat. While the heroine of the story is gliding like silk across the floor, the force of gravity seems to be heightened around me. She says I don’t look awkward, but she is being nice. And I swear if that little punk in the wife beater comes whipping by me backwards again, I’m tripping his scrawny little ass.

The middle of the rink is this half-walled area and it is FILLED to capacity with teens dancing in groups to club music. I debated going in and teaching them the white-man-overbite, shuffle-to-the-side dance, but decided that I should probably just focus on not falling.

After skating for a bit, we got off the floor and got some soft drinks from the snack bar. After a couple of evenly matched games of air hockey, we turn our attention to Dance Dance Revolution. And I got stomped. The white-man-overbite apparently isn’t a valid move in DDR. After this much promised “schooling”, and might I add the LAST one of the night, we left. Total cost (less $8 left over in tokens given to kids as we left): $32.

It was now around 10pm. I gave Justagirl my visitor parking pass to use when we got to South Beach and we were both kind of hungry so we decided that we’d figure out where to eat once we got over to my place. After fighting through traffic on the turnpike, keeping track of each other on the cell phones (since she smartly had a SunPass and I kept getting hung up at the toll booths, we made it back to South Beach around 11. I knew that at this time of night, we would never find parking, so we headed straight to the Flamingo Park parking lot at 11th and Jefferson. Walked the two blocks back to my place to pick up the scooter. I’m glad I cleaned beforehand. Dating has that effect on a guy. My place is never cleaner than the first few weeks of dating someone.

Why Pool is a Great Date

We decided that we should play pool next so we jump on the scooter and head up to Felt on Washington. I realize immediately that the scooter was a great idea. Justagirl’s hands on my sides, the physical barrier between us is now loosened. And her hands on my sides feel good. When we get up to Washington, I park my “hog” next to some choppers as their owners stand by. We goof around about the scooter and it’s cool. Because I’m a man (baby!) so I’m all confident and secure and stuff.

We walk into Felt. No cover, the lighting is low, and there are a few open tables. At the bar, I give the waitress my credit card and driver’s license and she gives me pool balls for the table, and a couple of bottled waters. The scene is mostly people in their mid-twenties to thirties hanging around the bar and lounging on the sofas while people playing pool hover over and around the 10 tables that fill the place out. The music is thumping everything from pop 80s to AC/DC to newer hip-hop, but not so loud that you have to scream to be heard. Lots of leaning in, and leaning in, as we know, is good. We played pool for hours.

This part of the date was a great experience for me in that, up until this night, I had always held (but never tested) the theory that a pool date would make a great initial date. One, you get a lot of questions answered about their personality. Are they super-competitive? Are they serious or fun? Are they high-stress or easy going? And then, two, (and this one’s a nice one) you get to check them out from multiple angles without the awkwardness of sneaking glances throughout a date.

My theory is sound.

Oh, and another tip: when playing games with your date, go all out to win. Same goes for playing with small children. No, don’t do that. I kid. But with this tip, I’m not kidding: share a pool stick. When you share a stick, physical closeness is necessitated. It provides a more intimate experience, and it’s not just a game of pool. So Felt is a GREAT place to go on a date. We left around 3:15am. Total cost including tip: $52.

Ping Pong under the Night Sky

After this, we decide it’s time for ping pong. We hop on the scooter, the night getting a little chillier (good for me, not so good for Justagirl) and head to the Surfcomber. We park across the street and then walk into the hotel (nobody in the lobby) and straight back to the cabanas. We pull out the table, grab some paddles and balls kept on the shelves, and set up near the pool area. A gaggle of women walk by, another hotel guest lounges for a bit, and that’s it. We are alone.

Justagirl and I are having a great time, hitting a ball back and forth that we can only halfway see. Had we stayed by the cabanas, the lighting would’ve been better. But the Surfcomber has such a beautiful pool area that playing there was more ideal.

We take a couple of breaks and laugh about the situation and the game. We goof some more about schooling one another. We’re sitting on chaise lounge chairs, and Justagirl is staring up into a clear night sky. Beautiful. And she looks at me. And it’s quiet. And it’s a perfect moment for a kiss on South Beach. And the overwhelming desire to kiss her at that moment is…. overwhelming. So naturally, I don’t.

We realize what time it is (3:30ish/4:30ish, time change that night) and then talk about going to Lucky Strike. We reach the conclusion that they might be closed at this time of night. (They were.) But food! We forgot to eat. So we’re both a little hungry and I suggest we get on the scooter and go up to IHOP around 70th and Collins Ave. Excellent.

So before we leave, we try to put the ping pong table back and that was an ordeal. It unfolded much more simply than it folded. In fact, it never folded back up and we had to wheel it back in to the cabana with it now occupying the whole of it rather than sitting in one corner. I ended up getting stuck on the other side and had to crawl out through a maze of poles and crossbeams underneath. Another dork moment for Scott. Lovely. But it was funny.

The night air much crisper than it was an hour or so earlier, we get on the scooter to head up to IHOP. Justagirl is chilly with just her sweater as cover. I offer her my jacket but she declines. So she holds on to my sides and her face is pressed against my back. At every single stop light, the desire to just turn around, grab her by the shoulders and plant one long passionate kiss enters my mind. I don’t.

I’m digging the scooter.

Breakfast of Champions

After eating some french toast and crepes at IHOP, we sit outside for a bit on the steps across the street. More talking, more laughing, more of her eyes. And it’s late. But I can’t let her ride back without something. We go up to Walgreen’s looking for a scarf or something to cover her face. The best I could find was a denim shirt, so I give her my jacket hoping maybe she’ll pull it over her face, but not really because I like it when she’s pressed up against me, the night life of Miami Beach fading into the periphery as we make our way up and down the avenues. I buy the shirt, she puts on my jacket and we drive back to my place.

$25 for breakfast at IHOP, $14 for the shirt. Total cost of the date: $125 (including tolls). Wow.

As we pass the tower around 17th or so with the large clock on it, we note that it’s now after 6 in the morning. We drive down Meridian, over Lincoln Road, a news crew catching the last of Sleepless Night films us as we pass by on our scooter. Wrong one, guys.

The Long Kiss Goodnight

We park the scooter and walk back to her car. And as we’re doing so, the thought that I have yet to kiss Justagirl hasn’t left my mind. The desire most definitely hasn’t. No, it hasn’t left at all. And I think, well, this is it. This is my last chance before the night ends. But the thought of the sister’s rules are still in my head. I don’t think there was anything about kissing but I don’t know. I’m nervous still. It seems a daunting task. And I still don’t want to cross boundaries.

We get to her car and then she offers to drive me the two blocks. Doh! Another ending in the car! So I’ve beaten myself mentally now. We drive to my corner. We sit there. Saying to each other what a great night it was. And it was. It was, without a doubt, the most fun I’ve had on a single date. Ever. And then…. Then…

Fail. I ask if she thinks a kiss goodnight would be okay. She says yes. And what do I do? What do I frickin’ do? Justagirl leans in a little, and then… I frickin’ move my head to the side and kiss her on the cheek!! On the frickin’ cheek! Idiot!

I then want to start the whole thing over but it’s too late. And now I’m totally awkward. I’m stumbling over my words as I get out of the car. I’m stammering. And she’s smiling I think. But that’s it: I’m never going to hear from her again. I open the gate to my building. Shaking my head in shame and cursing myself for being the boob that I am, I text Justagirl. I tell her what a great time I had and how I feel so incredibly goofy for blowing the kiss. Such is my life. Yet even still, she talks to me.

It was an amazing date. Absolutely amazing. And somewhere between meeting at the roller rink and saying goodnight to her in South Beach… somewhere between laughing over air hockey and hitting a white plastic ball in the middle of the night… between her sitting beside me at a pool table inside and warming herself next to me the next minute on a scooter outside… between watching the night slip into morning, I became convinced even more that Justagirl is anything but.

Now if I would just kiss her.

Related Links: • Super Wheels Miami • Felt Pool Hall • Surfcomber Hotel • Sleepless Night Miami (Photos) Related Categories: Miami: Local News, Scott is a photographer in South Beach who shoots models, street/street fashion photography, and life in South Beach. All of this can be seen at ipanemic.com See more articles by Scott. See more articles by Scott Was This Post Helpful? Please Share It With Others! Tweet

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