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SuicideGirls Cancel - What’s Miami Coming To

October 22, 2006 By Gus in Miami: Local News  | 6 Comments

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Did those nasty SuicideGirls cancel their Miami burlesque show?

I promised 10 people I’d take them to the gig, but today when I go to buy tickets, I see they removed the performance that was supposed to take place next Sunday from their Tour Schedule.

I don’t understand, what’s Miami coming to? They’ll play friggin’ Tallahassee, but they won’t play here.

Do performers think Miami sucks? Is there a sign on our back that says, “Keep Away! This Place Stinks”?

Okay, I can understand why that lame, one-ring French Canadian circus decided to pass on the Gleason - because of the high ticket prices and the general lack of interest, but what does it say about Miami, Florida when the SuicideGirls cancel on us too?

I thought Miami was supposed to be a city that oozed sexiness. People call us: The American Riviera, The Sun and Fun Capital of the World. Please don’t tell me I’ve been misinformed.

Coincidentally, the Comments on my 10 Things I hate about Miami post have been very active lately. Lane Myer says:

“Miami used to be a great city. There used to be allot of rock bands rolling through, a lot of live music and other events. Now everything in Miami is dominated by cubans, latin music, ghetto rap music, spanish billboards, spanish adverts on buses, spanish everywhere!!!! not to mention brutally bad customer service virtually everywhere.”

With so many hostile remarks about Miami, I am fearful performers will start to think we are totally lame.

The “Miami Vice” movie flop didn’t help our reputation any.

It’s time to write an article that highlights some of the nicer things our City has to offer.

Otherwise, I’ll be forced to start buying tickets to the Carnival Center, and chamber music really isn’t my bag.

Stay tuned!

Related Categories: Miami: Local News,

Gus Moore heads up Miami Beach 411 as site administrator. You can reach him at 1-305-754-2206.

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6 Comments on

"SuicideGirls Cancel - What’s Miami Coming To"

Manola Blablablanik says:

Hi Gus, I just talked to someone at Studio A. Apparently, Suicide Girls did not get a PhD in tour logistics.  They scheduled a performance in Atlanta on the 28th, which means they would’ve had less than 24 hours to get to Miami the next day and perform, only to have to schlep up to Tallahassee for a show on the 31st.  And with all that bump and grind, girls need to rest!

Studio A said they did all they could to get the show on the road, but I guess “the show must go on” doesn’t apply here.

The reason?  Maybe because we are, as Steve Klotz affectionally calls South Florida, “the nation’s dicktip.”  You’d think that might be appealing to those sexy gals, but no.  We’re too far away from the rest of civilization ... if by civilization we mean Florida’s hottest, bustling metropolis—Tallahassee!

Posted on 10/23/2006 at 2:47 PM

Gus says:

Them cancelling on Miami totally SUCKS!!

And just so they can be rested in order to play a show in Tallahassee. Those girls should never look rested. They should always look like they’ve been through the rigner.

What’s a <strike>horney guy like me</strike> citizen journalist like myself to do? I guess I’ll try to convince Michelle to pay a visit to Miami Ink. Maybe doll her up with a nice colorful arm sleeve, and perhaps some conspicuous body piercings. That will surely scratch my itch.

Posted on 10/23/2006 at 3:13 PM

Manola Blablablanik says:

Ay chihuahua!  grin

Posted on 10/23/2006 at 3:30 PM

mkh says:

Hey, Gus, you do know the Carnival Center isn’t all about chamber music, right? That was just a humorous understatement? Because I don’t think anyone will confuse George Carlin with the Kronos Quartet. I’m still withholding my judgement until Season 2, but right now they really do have a fairly eclectic lineup.

Posted on 10/28/2006 at 8:41 AM

Gus says:

mkh, yes, I was joking. It was a vain attempt at being edgy.

Thanks for pointing out the Carnival Center isn’t only for the blue-haired set. The Geroge Carlin gig should be fun. I listed some Carrnival Center Season highlights here.

I hope the 2nd Season lives up to the 1st.

Posted on 10/28/2006 at 9:54 AM

Thisguy says:

I’m Canadian you idiot, and I’m here visiting Miami like many tourists here who are Canadian, I like Miami;

but dont scapegoat offense to your city by disrespecting another country, because that’s just stupid..

Posted on 12/27/2009 at 7:09 PM

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