Miami Ballpark Asks: Are You Ready for a Night Out at “Field?”

At some point in the next month or so, the Marlins are going to tell us what the name of their new stadium is going to be. A rather exciting time for many Miamians, as we will have a new local icon to talk about and see on aerial shots of “CSI:Miami.” Hopefully the name is something cool, and not yet another bank or airline.

But it got me thinking: What if the local naming company decides that the stadium and the team should be run more like their business? What would the Miami Baseball experience be like then?

I decided to tackle the issue on my first ever post fit for public consumption on my new Marlins baseball blog, Miami Ballpark.  One of my ideas were if The Odious Opium Group bought the rights, and gave it some trendy, pretentious South Beach name, deciding to ruin baseball in Miami much the same way it ruined the club scene. Giving it a name like…

FIELD

• Under naming rights from The Opium Group, traditional stadium name replaced with trendy, monosyllabic title. It’s much more “South Beach” that way.
• 35,000 seats replaced by 500 VIP tables where fans can sit, drink vodka, and not watch baseball.
• Line outside every gate is 200 people long. Once inside, the stadium is completely empty

Each season the Marlins fold, are sold to a new owner, and have a “Grand Re-Opening” as a “completely renovated” team. They still finish behind the Braves and Phillies.

• Fans are only allowed in in a 3:1, girl to guy ratio. Shouts of “I don’t get iiiiit! This is boriiiiiing!” can be heard on radio broadcasts.
• Guys wishing to go in by themselves are forced to buy $700 bottles of Grey Goose. Promoters insist you’re not paying for the baseball, you’re paying for the “atmosphere.”
• A new concept in baseball: Entrance is at the doorman’s discretion. A ticket does not guarantee you entrance
• Doormen routinely deny admittance to multiple Marlins relief pitchers

This is but a brief snippet of the entire article. I also offered up ideas for Burger King, Telemundo and Sprit Airlines, among others. You can check it out here.

And this is hopefully the sort of stuff we’re going to be doing over on the new site.  To this point, it has been mostly (ok exclusively) me pontificating about the brand of baseball the Marlins play from day to day. But moving forward, we are going to be offering more.

As the stadium opens, we are going to tell fans what’s to be expected at the new ballpark. We’re gonna talk about the concession stands and the souvenir stands. The restaurants and the luxury suites. We’ll talk about the view from the cheap seats as well as the view from the field. And maybe, just maybe, a little about baseball.

But much like the Marlins themselves, this year we are getting ourselves ready. We’re honing our sports blogging skills and getting this site ready for what it will ultimately become: Your unofficial home for all the info you need for a day at the new Miami Ballpark.

Related Links: • New Stadium Experience Will Vary Depending on Who Gets Naming Rights • Marlins Open Final Season, Look Forward to New Park in Little Havana • Opium Group Privilege Card Gives You the “Privilege” of Getting Scammed • Marlins' Ballpark - First Picture of Left Field Related Categories: Miami: Local News, Miami: Sports News, About the Author: Matt Meltzer is a featured columnist at Miami Beach 411. See more articles by Matt Meltzer. See more articles by Matt Meltzer Was This Post Helpful? Please Share It With Others! Tweet

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