Chefs from seasons one, two and three fielded questions from fans.  Looking for show updates? Read our coverage about Top Chef 3: Miami.

Top Chef 3 Reunion Episode:  Watch What Happens

Last week, Bravo TV took a break from Top Chef competition programming and treated fans to a fun reunion episode featuring chefs from season 1 (Lee Anne, Dave and winner Harold), season 2 (Cliff, Mike, Sam and winner Ilan) as well as alumni from season 3 who’ve recently packed their knives:  Lia, Camille, Micah, Sandee and Clay.

Andy wasn’t bad.  Chris Rock would’ve been even better!

Andy Cohen hosted the episode sitting alongside Top Chef 3 host Padma Lakshmi and judges Tom Colicchio, Gail Simmons and Ted Allen.  Even Tim Gunn from Project Runway made a guest appearance via video!

NOT IS ALL LOST ON LIA

Lia’s boss had an accent.  I think he said:  “O la la!  Lia cooks not so bad!”

Lia’s boss, Jean-George Vongerichten had nothing but praise for Lia.  Colicchio offered some consolation regarding her Latin Lunch disaster:  “You were trained more in French cooking and were out of your comfort zone.” Lia wasn’t the only chef critiqued in this episode.  Micah got poo-poo for her insulting, anti-American ketchup remarks and Sandee got the third degree for being a BBQ poser.

WORST DISHES EVER

Marcel’s Bacon and Avocado Ice Cream

Mike’s Cheeto Vending Machine Amuse-Bouche

SHOCKING NEWS! PADMA GAINED WEIGHT!

OMG!  Like, I got so fat!

How do you taste all that food and not put on a 100 pounds by the end of each season?  Ted Allen told us it was all about tasting small portions; Padma Lakshmi regaled us with a oh-woe-is-me tale about she has to eat a lot because she has a big appetite and how she has to sneak in some cardio exercise time whenever she can and how she gained some weight during season two and how ... bla bla bla ... girlfriend, give us a break!

OK Padma, we get it.  You’re kinda cute.  But can’t Bravo spring for a hand mirror?

Incidentally, in this episode we learned that the scar on Padma’s arm is not from tiger hunting in Bengal, but rather from an unfortunate car accident she had at the age of 14, which required surgery.  All kidding aside, I think it’s cool she’s not ashamed of her scar!

Colicchio didn’t seem to care about weight.  Best quote from the episode:  “Everyone knows that the camera puts on 10 pounds of bitch.”

TALKING TO COLICCHIO? TAKE IMMODIUM

Clay didn’t bother to defend his amuse-bouche but admitted that the pressure of competition had an adverse affect on his gastrointestinal health.

Were you intimidated when Tom Colicchio showed up in the kitchen? Clay:  “I was shitting in my pants.”

TOP THINGS LEARNED FROM CHEFS

This hunky chef eats like a dainty bird!

1. Chefs work better when medicated.
2. Tom eats like he’s on Top Surgeon.
3. Gail flaunts her culinary knowledge.
4. There’s always a finger to be pointed.
5. This is “Top Chef,” not …

DECISIONS, DECISIONS

Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall at the REAL judge’s table?

How long does it take to decide who packs their knives?  Quite a bit more time than we actually see on the show.  At least two hours of deliberation gets whittled down in the editing room and most of it for dramatic effect.  Gail:  “It’s ridiculous. . . . It’s good versus good so you have to judge based on the nitty gritty details.”

HAROLD, WHERE ART THOU?

“Eat here or I will beat you with this mallet.”  Just kidding!  Harold Dieterle, hard-working and proud, in the kitchen of his new restaurant.

Harold has opened up his new restaurant, Perilla on 9 Jones Street, New York City.  A seasonal American restaurant with a lot of global references, Perilla is popular with Top Chef fans.  Harold:  “They come in and are supportive of a great neighborhood restaurant.”

Colicchio had already eaten at Perilla and spoke well of Harold’s success:  “Harold’s a chef’s chef.  Everything on the menu reflects who he is.”  Congratulations, Harold!  I can’t wait to stop by Perilla on my next visit to NYC.

NOTHING WONG WITH LEE ANNE

Lee Anne Wong comments on her work as culinary producer on Top Chef.

Lee Anne may not have won season two, but as culinary producer on Top Chef, she’s a big cheese.  “I help formulate and set parameters for each challenge.  If I could do it, then these guys should be able to do it too.”  Congratulations, Lee Anne. Your definitely the right woman for the job!

AUDITION TIP:  REVEAL YOUR KITCHEN KINK

“I pull out my f***ing fake testicle and open a beer and I start hammering my testicle with it and beer is flying everywhere …”

Best audition tape footage ever!  You gotta love how CJ embraces his cancer survival! 

HUNG HANGS BOTH WAYS

“Girlfriends?  Boyfriends?  I go either way.  Yeah, why not?”

Hung admitted he’s bisexual.

QUACK OR COOK?

“I can swim, bathe in duck fat.  I could make love in duck fat.”

Speaking of kink and sexual proclivities, Sam really hearts duck fat! 

ILAN IS PILFERING HIS $100,000 PRIZE

Ilan was all gussied-up in a tux.

Just kidding! Ilan told us he’s doing demos across the country and that he’s got too many things going on. “I’m not ready to open anything yet.”  Hurry up, Ilan!  I want to go eat your Spanish-influenced cuisine!  Why don’t you open a restaurant in Miami?  We could use a breath of fresh air when it comes to Spanish food in this town!

Ilan competed against and lost to Chef Jacques Pepin at the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, Colorado.  Gail Simmons worked as his sous chef.  Ilan on Gail’s technique:  “She kicked ass.”

SAM SEDUCES GROUPIES

My television had a little static when Chef Michelle Bernstein commented about Sam, so I think she said:  “Ay, que papi mas rico!” or something.

Chef Michy from Miami was in Colorado and remarked that even though Ilan won the competion, he couldn’t compete with Sam, who had a long line of women waiting to meet him.  I wonder how many of them would be willing to make love in duck fat?

“That blonde just grabbed my ass.”

TOP CHEF TOP FIGHTS

Give me a break!  Joey and Howie are now BFFs!  Compared to the first two seasons of Top Chef, season three so far is about as tense and dramatic as Sesame Street!

1. Stephen vs. Candace
2. Howie vs. Joey
3. Miguel vs. Tiffani
4. Marcel vs. Betty
5. Marcel vs. Sam
6. Marcel vs. Ilan

TOM HAS FANS IN HAIRY PLACES

Very married and very heterosexual Colicchio gives a thumbs-up to his gay admirers.

The bear community admires Tom, even though there isn’t half a hair on his bald noggin. Queer judge Ted explained that the bears are gay men who like strong, masculine and burly men.  “Apparently the burly gay men of America find you delicious, Tom.”

FIVES STAGES OF BEING ON TOP CHEF

Maybe Prozac should sponsor the next season of Top Chef!

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

BEST TOP CHEF SPOOF EVER

Ilan tries to justify the fact that his egg yolks are runny while Elia plays a snooty Padma:  “But you had thirty seconds!”

Oh boy, it’s too bad this video isn’t on Bravo, so you’d better catch this episode if you missed it!  Season two’s Elia played Padma and Sam guest judge while Marcel, Cliff and Ilan competed in a mock quickfire challenge to cook a steak and eggs breakfast in 30 seconds.  Hilarious!

NEXT COURSE:  Don’t miss tonight’s supersized premiere (one hour and fifteen minutes!) featuring a challenge to the senses and a frozen food competition with judge Rocco DiSpirito.

Reality TV Fans Gossip About the Show

Maria de los Angeles is a freelance wordsmith who loves to write about all things travel in Florida and the Caribbean. She is also the author of the award-winning blog Sex and the Beach. See more articles by Maria de los Angeles >