March 02, 2007 at 12:36pm by Matt Meltzer
From the Spring Break Visitors Guide.
We can all sit here and talk about “getting away” and “getting some sun” or even “getting hammered,” but there is really only one thing we all go on Spring Break to get, and that is “laid.” The month of March is basically human mating season and the State of Florida is our sacred mating ground. On a typical weeknight in March you can stroll the sands of South Beach and see dozens of couples consummating night-long relationships with people who will forever be known as “Blonde Dartmouth Guy” and “Kinda-Chubby Back Tat Girl.” Because names, like so many other things on Spring Break, are secondary to the sex.
I used to think that sex on Spring Break was another frat-boy overexaggeration like threesomes with strippers and “good grades.” But the longer I’ve lived here, the more I’ve found that sex on spring break is not only common, but more or less expected. By both sexes. So as an experienced Spring Break hooker-upper, I will impart the wisdom I have gained along to you here today. (see: A Guy’s Guide To Sex On Spring Break)
“But Matt,” you say “You’re a guy. So this guide will be all well and good if you have a Y chromosome and are partial to Ultimate Fighting and strippers. But what about us ladies? Where’s our guide?” And that, ladies, is an excellent question. My advice to women would probably not extend much past “Show up and bring condoms,” but through intensive interviews with experienced female spring breakers, I have produced a guide that will be helpful to you too. (see: A Girl’s Guide to Sex on Spring Break)
Spring Break Visitors Guide:
- How to Eat on South Beach For $10 a Day
- Girls Gone Wild in Miami? Not Exactly What You Might Think
- 7 Travel Tips to Avoid Getting Scammed in Miami
 | Matt Meltzer is a featured columnist at Miami Beach 411. Matt’s column appears Tuesdays. See more articles by Matt Meltzer > |
