You either love him or hate him.  He either makes you laugh or makes you livid.  Either way, he’s a lean, mean blogging machine.  But wait, I’m talking about White Dade, not the guy who writes the insanely funny blog.  That guy – the very personable Matt Meltzer – is coming to Miami Beach 411 with an insider’s guide to Spring Break.

“You’re never too old to do Spring Break,” Matt told me over the phone.  What a gas! My 35+ jaded Miami Beach butt nearly fell off its seat laughing! But hey, I’m just as interested in where I can eat, drink and enjoy myself for cheap, so I have a feeling some of Matt’s tips will also be useful to locals.

About Matt

Originally from Seattle, Matt came to Miami to earn his degree in Business Management at the University of Miami, during which time he was a member of the US Marines Corps Reserve.  Once out of school and the military, Matt worked as a personal trainer and also managed a gym.

He then returned to the West Coast where he worked in research and education for a dietary supplements company.  At this job, he had the opportunity to write a newsletter for employees, where he began to discover his writer’s style. “I had to cut back on my sarcasm a bit for professional reasons, obviously.”

Not one to resist his attraction to Miami, he eventually returned and worked managing a gym until the company cut back on staff.  Currently, he works as a bartender in South Beach, so he’s really in the thick of things.

An insider’s guide to Spring Break

With real-life experience on the party scene both as an “active participant” and a bartender, Matt knows first-hand the do’s and don’ts of Spring Break.  “I’ve been doing it for nearly nine years.  I’d like to share information that is practical but also fun.” Matt will cover topics ranging from socializing tips to avoiding scams.  He’ll also – get this – show you how to eat for $10 a day and that should be quite interesting, considering that Rachael Ray does cities for $40.  Yummo!

When I asked Matt about Miami versus other popular Spring Break destinations, he shared his theory.  From what he has observed, the ratio of female travelers to men is higher here.  “Miami has a little more of an upscale reputation.  It’s got a VIP celebrity buzz about it.  I think girls are more attracted to this.”

Who is White Dade?

Although White Dade usually writes quite explicitly about his drinking and sexual exploits, the real Matt is a far more health-conscious, wholesome dude.  “I party but I also take care of myself.  There’s some thought to what I write.  I’m not just some random guy getting drunk and laid all the time.”

Matt’s blogging persona, White Dade, was created to explore his life as a gringo here in Miami, but as he explains, there’s a difference between himself and the shock jock nature of White Dade.  As a matter of fact, Matt describes White Dade in a way that I find particularly interesting because it’s also true for Manola:  “White Dade is a highly exaggerated part of my personality, but it’s not how I truly conduct myself in life.”

Bummer!  White Dade is just a front? Well, don’t be disappointed.  Expect a fun read (White Dade) and good honest advice (Matt Meltzer) with his very own Spring Break Visitors Guide starting next week.

Maria de los Angeles is a freelance wordsmith who loves to write about all things Florida and the Caribbean. She is also the author of Sex and the Beach, where she writes under the pen name Manola Blablablanik. See more articles by Maria de los Angeles >