July 3rd
Start celebrating Independence Day early with 86collective, a contemporary digital art experience at SET nightclub; FrontPage Thursday at Mokai; a Microkitten Bikini Fashion Show and DJs Steve Smooth and JJ Flores as part of Pure Thursdays at Ink; or Dirt Nasty live at Mansion’s Runway Thursday. Also, Ringo Starr and a few of his friends will be in concert at Hard Rock Live.

July 4th
There will be local celebrations in Homestead, Coconut Grove, South Miami, Miami Beach, and at Bayfront Park, as well as an Old Fashioned 4th at Barnacle State Historic Site. Another option is the Independance Pool & Beach Party going on all day at the Surfcomber Hotel. 

There is also an American Children’s Orchestras for Peace Music Festival in Little Havana. This event will include a parade, dove release, recording artists, local children’s orchestras, food, and plenty of kids’ activities. 

Soccer anyone? The Miami FC hosts the Puerto Rico Islanders.

Indoors you can celebrate with Mya and DJ Ideal at Mansion; Glamorous Life Friday’s 4th of July Celebration with DJ Radamas at Opium Garden; and, for those of you looking to celebrate Venezuelan Independence Day, Alex Poxada along with Edgar G and Johnny Ramirez at Prive.

July 5th
Saturday you can wind down with Jazz, Art & Dinner in MiMo; Gilberto Gil at the Filmore Miami Beach; or the film The Year My Parents Went on Vacation at the Cinematheque. If slowing down is not your style, keep the party going at Rescue Me at Christabelle’s Quarter in Coconut Grove or with Hernan Cattaneo at Mansion.

July 6th
Sunday you can still catch the film The Year My Parents Went on Vacation at the Cinematheque or celebrate the birthday of Mansion’s resident DJ Mauricio with special guest DJs Enuff, Camilo, Felli Fel and superstar DJ Khaled.

All Weekend
Events going on all weekend include Jungle Island’s Birthday Bash where general admission is buy one, get one free; CELIA: The Life & Music of Celia Cruz at the Arsht Center; and Shining City at the Gable Stage.

If you’re looking for something else, visit the Event Calendar because it’s updated daily. Send me your event to be posted!

“Any Given Sunday” was released December 12, 1999. The film’s domestic box office gross was $75,530,832. Read more movie reviews.

Oliver Stone must love tackling subjects of Americana. He looked at Rock and Roll in “The Doors,” he examined American politics and justice in “JFK,” he has done more than his share of films about war. So, it only followed his cinematic progression that he would then tackle (please excuse the God-awful pun) that most American of sports, football.

THE MIAMI DOLPHINS’ GHETTO ILLEGITIMATE HALF-BROTHERS

LIKE MICHAEL VICK WITHOUT THE FEDERAL DOGFIGHTING CONVICTION

OLIVER STONE TEACHES US THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY GET HURT PLAYING PRO FOOTBALL

THE LA HURRICANES HAS A NICE RING TO IT, DON’T YOU THINK?

WESTON MUST LACK THOSE CINEMATIC BAY VIEWS

Fête de la Musique: Make Music Miami, a celebration of the first day of summer, will take place on Little Havana’s Calle Ocho Saturday. Another party on Saturday is a benefit fundraiser being thrown by the Miami Pan Symphony at The Panyard. Also, the Redland Summer Fruit Festival is going on at Fruit & Spice Park both Saturday and Sunday.

Tonight the Wolfsonian is showing the film American Masters: Zora Neale Hurston, Jump at the Sun and the Cinematheque is showing Chop Shop all weekend long.

For you theater-goers, Celia: The Life and Music of Celia Cruz began at the Arsht Center this week and will continue through the beginning of July. Shining City begins at the Gable Stage tomorrow and runs through mid-July.

The Historical Museum of South Florida has two exhibits opening this weekend: Interama: Miami and the Inter-American Dream (on display through January 2009) and Anne Mergen: Florida Cartoons (on display until September).

In club news, Eve will be performing at Mansion’s We Rock Hip Hop party tonight with DJ Ideal. Looking for something else? Visit the Event Calendar. If your event is still missing, send it to me now!

Having waded through years and years of pretentious South Beach bullshit, I have learned many lessons the hard way. Like never show up at midnight with five dudes and expect to get in. Or never buy a girl a drink who you have not been dancing with for at least an hour. Or never leave your credit card at the bar when you go home for the night. But perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned in my many years is that while a lot of people may tell you they have a “hookup,” the sad fact is that few, if any, actually do.

By “hookup,” I mean anyone that somebody claims to know who can get you past a line in a club, get you in free, get you free drinks or get you VIP access without paying for it. Or any combination of the above. Typically the alleged “hookup” is some friend of a friend, friend’s cousin, guy you met once drunk at Ted’s or a legitimate “hookup” of someone else this guy knows. Unfortunately, however, many people who think they have “hookups” in South Beach have about as good a chance of getting past the line as that guy from St. Louis wearing khaki shorts in the back. But that does not dissuade anyone from bragging about his hookup to just about everyone he meets.

BUT I’M FROM THE CITY, YOU HAVE TO LET ME IN!

Ladies especially, if you run into some guy in your hotel lobby or just on the street who is trying to impress you by saying that he’s VIP at some club in New York you’ve never heard of and can hook you up anywhere on the beach, be a little skeptical.

MEET THE GUY WHO RUNS SOUTH BEACH: “MY BOY”

“My Boy,” of course, never has a name. Nor does he have any specific relation to the person claiming to have “The Hookup.” And, in my experience, “My Boy,” despite holding such a multitude of jobs, never works. Because, inevitably, when you show up at the jam-packed door to whatever nightspot he’s allegedly at that night, your friend with “the hookup” will always trudge back to your group after a brief conversation with the doorman and say “Yeah, looks like My Boy’s not working tonight. Guess we gotta wait in line.” Either that, or call it a night and go to Ted’s.

A LIST IS RARELY WORTH THE PAPER IT’S WRITTEN ON

As I said, some promoters have legit lists, but it is really hit or miss. Having an email address of a guy who can put your name on a piece of paper does not constitute a “hookup.” It constitutes an “address book entry.” Because even if the door does acknowledge you, and they do open the rope to let you in, you may still end up shelling out the $25 to get in. Again, this is not a hookup.

TEN DOLLAR SHOTS ARE NOT HOOKUPS

NOTHING IN THIS BEACH IS FREE

Not so much, Bob.

SO WHO’S GOT IT?

LIKE MAYBERRY WITH BETTER LOOKING PEOPLE

Also, South Beach is a pretty small town. Like if you live out there for a year you start to recognize a lot of people. Now imagine if you work and live in a small town (you may, where you’re coming from). You start to know everybody. Heck, eventually you’ve probably worked with everybody. And probably hooked them up on occasion as well. So, in the reciprocal world that is the service industry, typically the people you’ve hooked up will hook you up.

So say you have a friend who’s been a bartender in South Beach for five years, and he says “Yeah, I used to work with this guy James who’s now bartending over at Opium,’ well, you can rest assured he’s probably telling the truth. Same with knowing door guys. Same with getting VIP bracelets. If your friend says he or she knows or worked with someone, you’re good.

IF HE WAS THE BEST MAN AT YOUR WEDDING, HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO KNOCK TEN BUCKS OFF YOUR COVER

WHAT TO ASK YOURSELF

1. Is this guy from Miami?
2. Is the hookup someone not named “My Boy?”
3. Does this “hookup” consist of more than “being on somebody’s list?”
4. Does this person legitimately know their “hookup?”
5. Do I have a pass or bracelet that specifically says “complimentary admission” on it? Is it for the day of the week I am trying to go out?
6. Has this person worked in the South Beach service industry?
7. Have I gone through my hotel concierge?
8. Is the name of the “hookup” in this person’s cell phone?
9. Have I been told that I may have to pay for some drinks?
10. Does this guy not look like a total, full-of-shit douchebag?
    

And that, friends, is just a sad place to be.

It started out like any other day.  Well, relatively.  Taylor had been staying with me for a few days already.  Thinking it was her last day here, we talked about what we wanted to do.  We decided to go up to Haulover Beach, the all nude beach, hang out and do a shoot.  The way we would work would be that we would take some candids of her on the beach, but then we would do a lot of posed shots.  This was similar to how we did our two prior shoots and so the plan was familiar, only more candids this time.

This is actually how I like to shoot anyway.  Mostly.  There are always great shots to be had in candids, and sometimes they come out better than a lot of posed photos.  Everyone that I shoot, I try to get a lot of candids because there’s always a gem to be found. 

Working on Limited Time

With her flight out of Miami scheduled for departure at 5pm that day, we only had a limited amount of time to go to Haulover, a twenty minute drive north from my place.  We packed the bag with towels, the camera, a couple of drinks, got in the car and left.  On the way, we stopped to pick up some tanning oil (to be used for some of the shots) and some chips to munch on at the beach.  It’s around 1pm when we get there, so I mention to Taylor that we absolutely cannot leave any later than 3pm in order for her to make her flight.  She is unconcerned with these things.

We park at the lot across from Haulover ($5 for parking, be prepared if you go) just south of Sunny Isles, grab the bag and make our way to the beach.  With this being my first time at Haulover, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I mean, I expected nude people obviously.  But from everything I had heard, I expected ugly nude people.  We walk through the underpass, past the purple candy-striped tower and voila, there it is.  The beach is absolutely packed.  Filled with people.  Ugly nude people.  No, I kid.  It was like a regular beach filled with regular people.  Only with lots of boobs, wieners, and vajayjays.

Now, Taylor had actually been to Haulover Beach the day before, late in the afternoon for a bit, shooting with another photographer, in the exact same spot.  The beach had been relatively empty when they were there and I understood that this was the gay part of the beach.  I can’t confirm that although there was a couple of men getting pretty intimate in the water when we came up.  So perhaps it was the gay section.

The First Set

We walk to the left, we eyeballed a spot, decided on it, and start walking over that way.  I thought we were going there, anyway.  I look back as I’m about to put the bags down and realize that Taylor has gone up into an empty lifeguard house.  I take my camera out and head over to where she is.  People see my camera.  No unusual looks from anyone.  They see that the two of us are together. 
I walk up the ramp of the lifeguard house to where Taylor is taking off the last of her bathing suit.  We take a number of shots, the people around collectively looking up and watching the shoot.  I was a little nervous at first taking my camera to the nude beach, worried that people might get pissed off.  But everyone around us was extremely cool.  Plus, I was very, very careful to make sure nobody else was in the background of the photo and that they knew it.  Unless they were out of focus or not identifiable.  Like only having a leg visible.  So everybody was really nice about us being there.  The pissed off people came later.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

This is kind of key to shooting on a packed nude beach, I think:  be respectful of the privacy of others.  That applies anytime really, but at a nude beach, people really don’t want to be photographed.  I sense that to be the case, anyway.

This is how the shoot goes:  when Taylor wants to pose, she signals me or tells me.  Or just starts posing.  The inbetween times of these posed moments are all the candids.  And in addition to that, there are shots where they are somewhere in the middle; halfway between posed, halfway between candid.  It worked out beautifully. 

As we’re taking some shots up at the tower, a Miami Beach truck pulls up and they say we can’t stay there.  We explain that we’re taking shots but will get down on the sand soon, and they’re cool with that.  They drive off, we take a few more shots, then make our way to our spot in the sand.  There’s a second occupied lifeguard tower there and so I go up to talk to the guard there.  I ask if we can take more shots up there from time to time.  He says that’s fine; he just doesn’t want to get in trouble with his supervisor (the guy in the truck).  So we go up there a couple more times during our stay and get some more, the supervisor in the truck never coming by while we’re there.

Candids on the Beach

With the first tower shoot behind us and getting comfortable in our spot, I take a few candids of us on the beach.  After a short while, Taylor heads out to the water.  More shots of her in the water and coming in and going out.  As she gets out, she lays on the beach and strikes poses by the water’s edge.  She’s not right upon me and I would have to speak very loudly for her to hear me at this point.  The people around are still very comfortable with everything.  Or, if they aren’t, nobody says anything.  But they are comfortable.  I make light conversation with a gay couple sitting close by about the shots, ask them to watch my camera as I go in the water, too.  Friendly guys.  Everyone was friendly.  At least, while we were in that particular spot.

Leaving the camera behind, I take a dip in the water.  While I’m in, I realize nakedness would be nice so I take off my trunks.  I have a white ass.  A very white ass.  I swim around.  I frolic.  I’m enjoying being at Haulover.  Taylor comes back in for a bit and we play for a few.  Eventually, she starts heading south in the water.

Nudeness Everywhere

I put my bathing suit back on and start to make my way to our spot.  (I wasn’t really all about being nude on the beach.  I was there to shoot.  Why have my junk all flippity flopping around while I’m taking photos?  That would’ve looked kind of stupid, albeit pretty funny.) Taylor eventually wanders back over, I get some more shots, candid and posed of her there.  We lay out.  At some point, I decided I wanted my white ass a nice shade of pink so I strip down and lay out nude.  Sunblock was nowhere to be found.  But I didn’t get burned.  Taylor was a little pink by the end of the day.

After a while, Taylor decides to go back in the water.  I’m laying out, not wanting to take photos right then.  She leaves and then I hear her call my name.  I look over toward the water and she’s in front of this ridge where the sand drops off by the water.  She wants some photos there, so I pull out the camera and go over.  The shots here are slightly more erotic in nature, and I feel like I got some great shots.  But here’s where one of the weirder moments of the day comes in.  As I’m taking photos of Taylor (out of site from the people laying out above the ridge but in plain site of people walking up and down the water’s edge beneath the ridge), she decides to strike more erotic poses.  One particular pose is where she’s on her knees, arms outstretched onto the ground in front of her, knees apart and butt up in the air.  My angle is from the side so it’s an implied nude. 

The Pervs Descend

The thing is, it was implied nude for me.  But it wasn’t an implied nude for the three Latino guys sitting just off in the background, one with his cell phone camera snapping photos straight on of her.  As I’m looking through the lensfinder, I notice the guys and tell Taylor that it might be time to turn; that she had an audience.  She turns her butt toward me, we take some more shots, and then she gets in the water again.

The guys come over to me, they ask me questions, we engage in some brief discussion.  They, of course, thought Taylor was beautiful and wanted to know if this was for some men’s magazine.  I explained that it wasn’t.  Now, I realize that we’re at a public nude beach and everything, but I was hoping that they would get the impression from me talking to them that, “Thanks for the compliments, now move along.” They didn’t get that.

For a while longer, wherever Taylor would pop out of the water, these guys were there, just off in the distance, watching.  And really, why wouldn’t they?  Taylor would come out of the water at random intervals, lounge around and then play in the sand before making her way into the water.  At one point, she came out, and spent an eternity sitting there spelling out her name in big letters in the sand.  Some great candids and some great posed shots came out of this, but it was somewhat bothersome having these guys around.

In fact, as we’re in this particular spot, a man and woman walk by, hand in hand, and the man mentions to me that these three guys are following us and that they look a little pervy.  They were pervy.  But we’re in a public place and we’re taking photographs.  And I’ve already spoken my piece to them.  So I mention once again to Taylor that she has an audience and we probably need to move along again. After this, the guys stop following.  All of the other onlookers at this point, go back about their usual business.

Taylor heads out into the water to get away from the beach for a bit.  Enter awkward moment number two.  Now, I took a couple of different lenses with me to the beach; one of those lenses was a telephoto/zoom lens.  As Taylor goes into the water to play once more, I have my zoom lens attached.  As she gets farther away, I zoom in more to keep her from looking like a dot on screen.  With the lens extending outward, it’s clear to anyone on the beach that I’m zooming in on the girl in the water.  The girl who I was just shooting close up on the beach.

An Indecent Incident

While in the water, Taylor begins to move southward again.  I follow her on the shore and snap photos, still zoomed.  Taylor looks at me from time to time, still playing.  At some point she looks my way and flips me the bird as I’m taking her photo.  Nice.  And RIGHT after this, an older naked gentleman comes up to me and says that people really don’t like people taking photos on the beach.  I explain that I’m taking photos just of the girl, that we were there together.  He then asks, “Then why did she flip you off?” Great.

No, we’re together.  She’s just playing.  We can walk together when she comes in so you can see.  I’m a photographer, she’s a model and we’re getting shots of her day at the beach.  We talk a little and he gets it.  He’s cool.  Thankfully.  The thing is, this:  we should’ve stayed in our one spot where everybody knew us.  The place where the woman/man came over in her bikini and talked to us and gave us a copy of a woman’s magazine so that we could look through it for ideas for our shoot.  The place where people were comfortable with us and knew what was going on.  Here, we were flying solo.

Mayor McBronze Wiener

Enter awkward moment number three.  As I’m wrapping up my now nice conversation with this older guy, Taylor has gone farther south now and is coming out of the water.  The guy and I part ways and I walk down to hang out and take more photos.  As I’m walking, and for the life of me I can’t remember what was said, but out of my right ear, I hear somebody yelling at me.  I turn around and some naked guy on a chaise lounge is yelling my direction.  It’s about the camera and shooting, but I don’t remember what he said.  All I remember is that Mayor McBronze Wiener was an idiot.  It’s along the same lines of the other guy but this guy is being a complete ass about it.  So I walk over to him.  I’m not going to get accused of doing anything wrong, and I want him and the people around to understand what’s going on.  He’s yelling some garbage, still laying down.  Looking at him, I’m feeling more comfortable in my manhood and realizing why he doesn’t want a camera around.

I explain once more what it is that we’re doing.  He yells.  I call him a f*cktard, advise him to get some life lessons, and walk back south to Taylor.  It was a scene.  I had no intention of being in a scene; I’m really a passive person and I don’t like arguing but this guy really needed to be put in his place.  Taylor was close enough that she could hear what was going on.  We talk about what happened and we talk about leaving.  I’m ready to head back to where we were; she wants to stay there.

At this time, it’s 3pm, so it’s time to leave to catch her flight anyway.  Really didn’t like the idea of leaving on a sour note (Mayor McBronze Wiener) after such a good day, but there was nothing I could do about it.  Taylor wants to do one last shoot where I’m down the beach and shooting her as she’s walking along it toward me.  So I head back to where our stuff is.  Taylor comes walking.  I take some photos and I think we’re done.  I’m in my happy place again, no stress in shooting her from others.  It’s all good.

Calling it a Day

Shots taken, Taylor turns, walks up the beach back to the lifeguard house.  We take more photos up there and finally, we get ready to leave, our day at Haulover complete.  By this point, getting to the airport on time is going to be cutting it really close.  We pack up our stuff and start to head out.  As we’re leaving, the three guys from earlier are standing around the entranceway to the beach.  Only there are five of them.  They eye Taylor over and over.  I’m grateful we’re leaving.  I’m grateful there are people everywhere.  Back to the car and a day shooting nudes at Haulover Beach is over.

We never make it to the airport in time.  Knew that wasn’t going to happen.  But it was a great day at the beach all the way around.  With the exception of the momentary weirdness and dealing with the pervs, shooting at Haulover is a great idea.  Of course, we were shooting in the middle of the day which typically is a horrible idea because the light is so harsh, there’s squinting, shadows, etc… but still, we managed to get some good material.  My only advice to any photographer wanting to shoot out there is: don’t go when it’s packed.  Maybe.  If you go when it’s not packed, be aware of who is on the beach.  Pick a spot and stake your claim as to what it is that you are doing.  Respect other’s privacy and just use common sense; if you want someone in the photograph, get their permission.  And above all else, take sunblock so you don’t come away with a pink ass.

Comedian Eddie Izzard will be live at the Fillmore Miami Beach for two nights. The Cure is in concert at the BankAtlantic Center Friday night and the Miami Gay Men’s Chorus is in concert at the Colony Theater all weekend long. There will also be a free Cuban fusion concert at North Shore Open Space Park Sunday.

Jesus Christ Superstar at the Broward Center.

Miami Beach Cinematheque is showing Paranoid Park. Opening night will include a webcast with the director Gus Van Sant.

Tired of looking at the trash on the beach? There’s a Litter Clean-up Competition on Saturday.

Other events going on include a Miami FC soccer game against the Carolina Railhawks; an Edible Landscaping presentation at the Botanical Garden; a night of food, music and open mic poetry at Amrosia Ambiance; and a Singer/Songwriter concert presented by Arts at St Johns.

Parties this weekend include DJ Ravi Drums at mokai Friday night; Mansion’s Freaky Friday the 13th, an S&M-inspired party; a special electro-inspired party with Lazaro Casanova, featuring glow in the dark dancers, electric decor and so much more, on Saturday also at Mansion; and MMA superstar Thiago “Pitbull” Alves will host the Saturday party at Prive. For even more parties, visit the Event Calendar.

Is your event missing from the calendar? Send it to me now!

“HOPE” FOR MIAMI

One of the great things about Miami is the sheer international-ness of it.  And the fact that an authentic, landmark Vietnamese restaurant could be thriving in the heart of Little Havana is a tasty reminder of just how true this is.

(ABOVE) TUNG NGUYEN (LEFT) AND PARTNER KATHY SERVE UP HOSPITALITY AND DELICIOUS HOMEMADE RECIPES AT MIAMI’S OWN HY VONG.

Hy Vong (3458 SW Eighth St., Miami, FL 33135, 305-446-3674) owners Kathy Manning and Tung Nguyen reflect this diversity particularly well.  A lacquered Miami Herald article on the wall at the entrance of their business tells their story:  In 1975, Tung, then 27 and pregnant, escaped her war-ravaged homeland aboard a fishing vessel, not certain where it would take her.  Fortunately, after a series of several fortunate twists of fate, she eventually ended up in Miami, with Kathy as her refugee sponsor.  A few months later, Tung’s daughter Lyn was born, and the three became a happy family, first opening Hy Vong in 1980.  Vietnamese for “hope”, Hy Vong epitomizes the dream that has brought so many to this neighborhood, and to this country.

A MIAMI HERALD TRIBUTE TO HY VONG

Lyn grew up in and around the restaurant, and was a regular whiz kid at Coral Gables High, so much so that she won admission to Harvard, later getting her degree from Cornell.  She tried out life as an investment banker in New York for a while, but the pace of the Northeast was a little too fast for her.  With fond recollections of her childhood at Hy Vong, she changed her life plan, and returned to Miami to join the business.  Using her enterprising savvy, she began marketing the restaurant’s favorite dishes to food stores throughout South Florida, out of a plant in Dania.

Today, word of Tung’s delicious recipes has spread far and wide, and those in-the-know line up in droves each evening for a taste of this home-style Vietnamese cooking.  Tung herself mans the kitchen, while Kathy holds court up front, making sure that the customers all feel welcome and content.

Says one satisfied regular, “Walking into Hy Vong is like going to a favorite relative’s for dinner. On my way to the table I say hi to many of the regulars whom I have come to know from sharing time in the restaurant. Bey brings me a glass of my favorite wine, and I know the food will be consistently good.”

Dave and I arrived after 9 pm on a Saturday night, when we were told the crowds would be waning.  Although we were seated right away by the afore-mentioned Bey, the crowd was still lively and plentiful. 

Kathy came to our table in short order, and, after we selected a glass of homemade lemonade and some iced tea, I asked her to choose for us, so we could be sure to sample their very best selections.  These were her recommendations:

BANH CUON

Banh Cuon are steamed pork rolling cakes, and this, confides Kathy, is the restaurant’s most popular dish.  One taste and you can see why: similar to dumplings in taste and texture, this dish is seasoned to perfection in a zesty sauce, and richly garnished with chives and various other assorted veggies; it’s insanely delicious, and a real bargain at $6, for an order of two.

CHA GIO

Cha Gio are spring rolls, and they come two per order with a brothy dipping sauce.  The trick is to roll them up in the lettuce while dipping them in the sauce, and then to pop them promptly into your mouth.  The dish is also garnished with fresh mint leaves. $4.

HEARTY SOUP

Next on Kathy’s list of suggestions was the Hearty Soup, or, as it is known by its proper name, “Pho” (pronounced fah).  This is perhaps the most familiar item in Vietnamese cooking—that large broth filled with veggies, noodles and meat.  Other ingredients include anise star, basil, cilantro, and lime.  You can enjoy it spicy or sweet.  For a spicy taste, go with the red sauce, and for a sweet taste, Hoisin is the bottle to grab.  Kathy maintains that spicy is best, so we mixed the red sauce with some homemade sauce on the table and came up with a mixture that cleared our sinuses rather quickly.  A couple of limes were also provided, which we dutifully squeezed over our soup.

(STAR ANISE IS ONE OF THE EXOTIC SPICES USED IN TUNG’S COOKING)

Kathy explained that Pho is the typical Hanoi soup, while Bun Bo Hue, a beef broth of cellophane noodles, chicken and shrimp is more common in the central regions; another dish, called Hu-Tieu, is the popular dish of the southern realms, which contains soy bean, lemon, chili, and soy sauce—instead of herbs and lettuce.  $6.50.

SCALLOPS WITH FRESH FRUIT

After finishing our Pho, we didn’t have room for two entrees, so we had to go with only one.  Dave and I both agreed on one of the items Kathy had suggested from the specials list, the scallops with fresh fruit ($16.95). 

This was exquisite, to say the least!  There were about six scallops, cooked to perfection, topped with shreds of mango and garnished with mint and cilantro.  It was the perfect coup-de-gras for an evening well-spent!

FULL OF PHO!

The best part of this atypical Calle Ocho meal was that it left you feeling full but not bursting.  The cuisine was light going down, and the abundance of fresh herbs and veggies is a welcome relief from our super-processed American life. 

We left thinking what a great experience it had been on so many levels—the customer interaction was so sincere and outgoing that I had to pinch myself a few times to make sure I was really in Miami.  And the food was not only delicious, but so healthy that I made a resolution to seek out Vietnamese cuisine more often.  And when you’re in South Florida, you can do no better than Hy Vong!

Hy Vong
3458 SW Eighth St., Miami, FL 33135
Phone: (305) 446-3674

Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: While the Hotel Alexander is a beautiful place to stay, and one of the most relaxing and homey-feeling hotels on the beach, it is not a party spot. That’s not to say there isn’t anything to do at the Alexander, quite the contrary, it’s just that I don’t see the outdoor lagoon pools hosting any wet T-shirt contests any time soon. And while nobody is going to be confusing the newly-restored Millionaire’s Row resort with a cramped Ocean Drive crash-pad, the place offers a luxurious atmosphere for people who may want to get away from the action when they are done playing.

DESPITE THE CHANDELIER AND STAIRCASE, ELIZA DOOLITTLE WILL NOT BE MAKING AN APPEARANCE

The day I was there the meeting rooms were setting up for some sort of fashion show, so I guess Millionaire’s row can still have some of that South Beach chic to it. Apparently they are most commonly used for weddings, which seemed appropriate given one of the rooms actually came with its own bar.  And, since Miami Beach tends to be popular with some of our nation’s Jewish population, the hotel even offers 100% Kosher weddings, not something you find much south of 22nd Street.

A TROPICAL OASIS IN THE BIG CITY

The meeting rooms lead out to a pink-tiled walkway that leads out to the deck of the upper pool. I say upper-pool because the Alexander has two pools, essentially on top of each other with a waterfall cascading in between. You can also rent poolside cabanas which feature refrigerators and private changing areas, if you don’t feel like making the trek back up to your room.

While not the celebrity-saturated scenes of the Delano or Sagamore, the Alexander’s lagoon-style pools have phenomenal views of the ocean and a pool café with food under $25. The crowd around the pools looked to be mostly families, which seem to be the most common guests at the Alexander. I didn’t see anyone eating the food from “Top of The Falls,” but the menu looked like it offered pretty standard pool bar fare: Burgers, Chicken Strips, Salads and the like. And, like I said, the Alexander has not seen it fit to gouge you just because you want to eat by the pool. Most items on the menu aren’t much over $12.

ENJOY A STEAK WHILE YOU REMEMBER WHEN MIAMI HAD A PRO FOOTBALL TEAM

This is probably because the main restaurant in the hotel in Shula’s Steakhouse. For those not from the Miami area, Shula’s is a series (I won’t say “chain” because that would imply it were like Outback or Sizzler or something, and God knows no self-respecting Miami Beach hotel would associate themselves with THAT) of steakhouses bearing the name, likeness and endless memorabilia of the legendary Dolphins head coach. This Shula’s is no different, with walls plastered with reminiscences of an era when the Dolphins were not the laughingstock of the NFL. Interesting for some, downright depressing for others.  Shula’s is actually regularly named one of the Top Ten Steakhouses in the country by whoever it is that rates steakhouses for ads in in-flight magazines. I’m not sure if this is an earned or purchased honor, but as I like to say better to be on that list than not on it.

Inside Shula’s was the hotel bar called the “No Name Lounge,” named either for the defense of the perfect 1972 team, or because it’s the kind of bar that guarantees your anonymity. I’m kind of rooting for the second one. The bar is pretty much a steakhouse bar. A little too upscale and well-furnished to be a standard hotel lounge, but not quite trendy enough to be hosting a regular Friday night party. But that seems to suit this place perfectly.

GIVING MY APARTMENT AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX

What really sets the Alexander apart, though, are the rooms. Yes, the lobby makes you feel like you are about to be chastised for not having a better job and the pools give an air of isolated island paradise in the middle of America’s 11th-largest city, but the rooms make you never want to go back to your apartment. The hotel, as its full name implies, is all-suites, meaning that each room comes with a living room, kitchen and dining area, something I couldn’t even say about the place I currently call home. Even better, every room has a view of either the ocean, the intercoastal waterway and its luxurious homes, or both.

I think part of the reason the Alexander is so popular among families is its two-bedroom setup. Yes, there are a lot of hotels that offer two bedrooms, but usually one of them is essentially a couple of twin beds with a 14” TV so your kids will leave you alone while you have sex. But at the Alexander, the Ernie-and-Bert suite features nightstands that match the plush bedding, a flat screen TV, French Doors and balcony access. Not to mention a private bath. So, essentially, the kids won’t feel like they are being locked in a plaster box while the grown-ups enjoy their time together.

The living room has similarly plush furnishings, and the bedroom looks like something out of the model unit at your local undersold condo development. That is, stuff that is very nice looking and well-decorated, but does not even closely resemble your bedroom. Which, I guess, is the point of a vacation, right? The kitchen even has a dishwasher. Because, really, who the Hell wants to wash dishes on their vacation?

SOME ALTERNATIVES TO WALKING 20 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS IN TEMPLE CLOTHES

One thing I noticed as I headed downstairs was that the Alexander featured something called a “Shabbat Elevator.” Now, I have stayed at a lot of hotels in my day, even some in Israel, and I have never seen a “Shabbat Elevator.” For those unfamiliar, Shabbat is the Jewish Sabbath, and one of the rules is that you are not allowed to use any sort of electrical stuff from Friday to Saturday night. Now, I’m not exactly sure how this elevator works if it is Sabbath-friendly, and being the semi-observant Jew that I am, I honestly couldn’t tell you why you’d need a special elevator. But, at a hotel that offers Kosher weddings, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised.

The Alexander also has a fitness center which, while not as complete as your local LA Fitness might be, does pretty well for itself. Between the lat pull-down machine, the leg press, the Smith machine and the abductor/adductor machines, you can do most of your workouts with some simple attachments. Which the hotel has. The gym looks out on the pool, so if you run on one of the treadmills or use the recumbent bikes, you have something to look at other than the television. You can also relax after your workout in the hotel’s spa, which features the wide array of treatments one would expect from a hotel spa.

With its new amenities and impressive restoration, the Alexander seems to me like the perfect place for a family to visit if they want to come to Miami Beach. It is far enough away from South Beach that you will not be stressed and hassled, and has large enough rooms that parents and kids can get a little separation. The fact that the rooms make you not want to go home doesn’t hurt either. But make no mistake; this is not just a good hotel for families with small children. It struck me that because of its proximity to South Beach, this might even be a good place for a family with older children to come as they can take a cab to South Beach at night while mom and dad sleep. Although I’m not sure how many Spring Breakers would want to be sharing a hotel room with mom and dad, if they’re paying it never hurts.

]]> 2008-06-02T11:50:00-05:00 http://www.miamibeach411.com/news/index.php?/news/versace-mansion/ Local by Rebecca Lucente

When I was told that my husband and I would be going to SPCA Miami’s “Celebrities Go Orange for Animals” party with Neill Hernandez, VP of Cigarette Racing, and his lovely wife, Amalia, I was excited.

Hearing it was at Casa Casuarina however, this writer jumped right out off the couch – and onto my blog! Casa Casuarina is one of those places you just have to go to. The only problem is, most of us can’t make it past the front door, unless it’s a very special occasion. Here’s the story of mine…

In Search Of Orange Clothing

Saturday morning was another bright Florida sunshiny morning, and found me awakening with one very important thing on my mind – buying something orange and fabulous for the party. My husband wasn’t feeling well, so, doing what any other card carrying Jewish American Princess would do – I called Nordstrom and had Jeniffer pull what she said was “everything” orange in the store in our sizes.

I arrived at the mall in a panic. After rejecting everything Jeniffer had pulled except one pale orange paisley shirt my husband would hate, I walked three, literally, three steps to find the most perfect Juicy dress ever .  On any other day, you would call the color peach, but today it is orange. Upon arriving home I was met with the news that my husband would not be going. After a few very tense hours getting ready, and even a frantic post on MiamiBeach411.com, it was SamStyl to the rescue! SamStyl is the name my best friend in Miami made for herself when she was working as a high fashion stylist on the beach.  Her given name is Samantha Weston. She is my partner in crime at Epicure, Loehmanns, and Miami at large.

She picked me up in her Acura SUV and soon we were cruising over the McArthur Causeway, digital recorder and camera safely in purse. We parked in a parking garage off Washington, from where we could hear the music and see the orange lighting flowing out of the mansion. When we got past the 47 police officers guarding the door (Yes, my name is on the VIP list, thank you!) the plan was to obtain a press pass, a drink and find Tessie Calejo, the director of SPCA Miami.  Instead I got my press pass, my drink, and realized with the 500 people milling about, we wouldn’t be spotting Tessie, Neill, or Amalia anytime soon.

Behold - The Versace Mansion

The main entrance to the house was set up with various sponsor tables that we passed enroute into the main courtyard where the pool, stage, little pool cabana, and the VIP room was. The house, what I saw of it anyway, was massive. It’s a little mind-blowing every time you remember that an estate like that exists right on Ocean Drive of all places. The landscaping was lush and decadent, from the Royal Palms to the various tropical flowers and creeping ivy. It was seamlessly Miami-Tuscany fusion. It felt like you could either be in Miami or in a grand Villa on a cliff overlooking the Mediterranean Sea.  The guest bathroom off the main entryway was grand, with a heavy, dark, expensive looking wood door, and light colored marble everywhere, with the most lavish gold fixtures on everything. The courtyard was big enough for a small concert, with stone pavers with grass in between on the ground and gorgeous Juliet balconies that led out of the many bedrooms.

D-Listers Go Orange for Animals

There were tons of Latin celebs there. Not that I knew who any of them were.  Name a Univision star, and I can practically guarantee I rubbed elbows with them (or at least tripped near them – those pavers are so uneven!). Although these people may not be considered A-List in most of the country, it is important to note that Univision and Telemundo are broadcast worldwide, meaning the same Latin soap opera you’re watching in Miami, someone is also watching in Argentina. Even though all the American shows play there too, they are a season behind or more according to my “Greys Anatomy” obsessed friend that lives there.

The first celeb we spotted was Taye Diggs. Although he said he wasn’t Taye, Tessie later told me that Taye was there and when he gave us a business card, SamStyl said the name on the business was Taye Digg’s wife’s name. He was with a guy named Mark who assured us he was not his manager. Here’s a pic of me in my perfect Juicy dress with him. You be the judge.

As I was walking to the bathroom, I saw what appeared to be an incredibly well dressed midget. As it turns out, it was a six-year-old reggaeton star from Puerto Rico named Xavi (the destroyer).. He is Daddy Yankee’s Godson, and when he got up on stage, the press went nuts! It was clear the kid was a born star – when he was posing and went to leave the stage, I called out “Uno Mas!” because I hadn’t gotten a good shot. It was way past his bedtime, and still this little sensation turned back around, got back on stage, and gave me my shot. Here it is:

As we continued to make our way through the crowd, stopping to scope out anyone who looked remotely famous and trying to talk to them. This lady was one step ahead of me however:

I got some good shots of Miss Latin International and Miss Argentina. They were not wearing orange.

I have no idea who these people are, but they were having a spectacular time and were incredibly good sports. I think this picture pretty much sums up the night from the partygoer point of view:

That was when we met M.D. and crew from Vivid_Trendz, a Miami based Fashion label. The boys website is under construction, but you can check out their designs on their MySpace profile.  As Paul says, “Be on the lookout for our clothes.” SamStyl posed for a pic with the boys.

Hanging Out In The VIP Room

As we made our way to the VIP room, we spotted “I’m not Taye” again and a publicist named David Lee Roth that I shall dub; “I’m not Taye’s publicist” and got another pic. (Insert pic here).

The VIP room was a telenovela fan’s dream. I kept on trying to think how it would feel to be in the room with the entire cast of “Grey’s Anatomy”, or at least, the entire male cast. Before I fell over drooling, I sat next to a gorgeous couple that are again, apparently big stars in Latin America.

They were more than happy to sit next to me, tell me their names and what hit show they were on (sounds like, La Pictura?) but besides the speeches, my digital recorder may as well have been at Space for how well it recorded anything but the music. Although I assume this is a bit nicer than Spaces’s VIP room. The best part of that room was that it had a huge industrial strength fan that I stood in front of for a delicious 45 seconds before descending back in the oppressively thick, hot, Miami air. (Insert more pics of VIP room)

SPCA Miami Knows How To Party

Tessie took the stage, along with Marielos Baltodano, also from SPCA Miami, and Robert Buiguis from One Source Branding. Since the speech replaced the ba doom of the music, the recorder actually did its job and captured the speech. She started off by thanking Jorvi Entertainment Group, who provided all of the entertainment, music, etc, and invited all the local celebrities.

She then went on to thank, from what I can understand, Miami–Dade Animal Services. Then I hear myself talking over the speech to someone about MiamiBeach411.com and my blog while she is thanking the sponsors, and then introducing some people in rapid fire Spanish. There is an awful lot of applause behind my babble. Leave it to me to ruin the one thing my ten-year-old recorder picked up. 

Then in English, (YAY) we have Allison from ASPCA New York.  She was very happy to be there for that night, saying that when they began Go Orange for Animals, years ago, she had no idea the magnitude that it would take on. And thanks to the hard work of ASPCA and SPCA Miami, it is now something that has become nationwide. Their main objectives are to reduce overpopulation and end needless suffering of animals, especially shelter dogs. There is lots of drunken whooping; I believe one of them was mine, and a lot of rapid fire Spanish. And then there was the scintillating conversation of two girls behind me.

“That’s not orange,” says girl “A”, pointing to someone in the crowd.

“And that’s not orange”, says girl “B”, pointing to another. Feeling confident that the Orange Fashion Police had things under control, I made my way back toward SamStyl – and my drink. We walked into the Full Throttle area, which was set up in the poolside cabana. I managed to avoid falling into the pool as I walked in, where I graciously accepted a can, poured half of it into my drink, and then, when no one was looking, grabbed an unopened bottle of Level One vodka, twisted off the plastic, and dumped about six shots into my cup. I then placed the bottle back with the others and carried on as if nothing happened, hoping no one would notice my drink had magically refilled itself. (Our first round was 45$, so don’t judge). Mission accomplished.

Then I lost Sam again getting a pic of the fun partygoers. “Excuse me, have you seen a blonde with a crazy orange shirt?”

As the concert portion of the night began, SamStyl and I danced for a bit before deciding to call it a night. It was muy caliente in there, and if you are reading this now, I accomplished what I set out to do.

A follow up phone call to Tessie confirmed what I already knew – the night was a huge success. Tons of money was raised for the Miami-Dade Animal Services trust fund, although she couldn’t confirm an amount when we spoke, The trust fund provides medicine, blankets, food, toys, and anything else the orphan pets of Miami may need.  If you are interested in volunteering for SPCA Miami, or even just finding out a little more about them, you can visit their website, http://www.spcamiami.org. We even got cute little gift bags. I have an extra one for whoever leaves the first comment below. 

]]> 2008-05-30T14:44:00-05:00 http://www.miamibeach411.com/news/index.php?/news/im-bored-whats-there-to-do-summer-shorts-films-and-storm-prep-expo/ Local, Entertainment If you’re looking to avoid the weather, there are plenty of indoor activities to enjoy this week!

Speaking of weather, Hurricane Season officially begins this weekend. Residents should stop at the Convention Center for the Storm Prep Expo.

On to the fun stuff!! The annual Summer Shorts Festival begins this weekend at the Arsht Center. Apologies to you fashionistas, this is short PLAYS, as in theater, not clothing. The festival consists of Signature Shorts, Shorts4Kids and Undershorts (for mature audiences 18 and over). The latter two don’t start for a couple more weeks but get your tickets now!

In film, the Brazilian Film Festival will be going on around town for the next week. The event kicks off with outdoor screenings at the North Beach Bandshell Friday night and continues through the week with screenings at the Colony Theater, Miami Beach Cinematheque, and the Wolfsonian. Also, the Miami and Ft Lauderdale Gay & Lesbian Film Festivals are offering a sneak preview of Kiss the Bride, starring Tori Spelling, Phillip Karner, and James O’Shea.

Then there’s music: the Freestyle Invasion arrives at the BankUnited Center; the Fillmore Miami Beach at the Jackie Gleason Theater hosts Dream Theater’s Progressive Nation 2008; and Roberto Carlos will be at the AA Arena.

For parties, we’ve heard Benny Benassi will be at Mansion and Generation X’s Seduction will be held at Bayside Hut, in addition to the numerous parties that go on around town every week. Visit the Events Calendar for the latest info.

And if you’re looking to spend a little time outside (and not on the beach or walking Lincoln Road) the Miami FC host the Seattle Sounders this weekend.

Is your event on our calendar??? Well why not? We can’t post it if you don’t send it!!!

]]> 2008-05-28T15:30:00-05:00