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Once Again, Everyone Hates Miami. And That’s How We Like It.

August 18, 2011 By Matt Meltzer in Miami: Local NewsMiami: Sports News  | 9 Comments

We were getting a little tired of being nice guys.

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After a decade of swagger and bravado made the University of Miami the most hated program in college football, the last ten years of mediocrity had people reconsidering.

Not anymore.

Since winning our way into America’s disfavor wasn’t going to happen, Nevin Shapiro was nice enough to steer us back on track. Once again, The U is nasty. Once again, The U is dirty, corrupt, out of control and out of line with traditional American values. And that’s just the way we like it.

In case you’ve been living under a rock this week, a waste of life Ponzi schemer named Nevin Shapiro has alleged to have bought all sorts of illegal things for University of Miami athletes and coaches. Ranging from dinner at Prime 112 to bottles at Mansion to an abortion. Yep. An abortion. Because that’s how we roll at The U.

IF WE’RE NOT OFFENDING YOU, WE’RE NOT MIAMI

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And now that all of this has surfaced the media seem to think that this is the first time a booster has given money to athletes. Like there’s not some Bubba pig farmer handing cash to kids at Florida. Or some movie producer taking recruits to The Ivy at USC. But when Miami does it, and does it with all the brazenness we do everything else, people start yelling “Drop the Program!”

Why? Because we paid some players? No, that happens all the time. It’s because in Miami, we’re not content to just be crooked. We have to put our spin on it. Instead of cars, players get orgies with prostitutes. Instead of televisions, they get parties on a yacht. With prostitutes. Instead of tickets to major events, they get VIP tables at Mansion. With prostitutes.

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As a matter of fact is seems that the only thing Nevin Shapiro did that didn’t involve prostitutes was hand oversized checks to Donna Shalala.

And once you involve sex, you’ve immediately alienated and offended half of the good college football-loving people of America. And at Miami, that’s exactly what we love to do.

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BRINGING BACK THE 80S, ONE HOOKER AT A TIME

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Nevin Shapiro knew that. He grew up in the Miami Beach of the 1980s, saturated with sex and drugs and swagger. He saw those 80s Hurricanes teams and how they flaunted their talents and six-pack abs at opponents. And he knew that those teams mirrored the drug-fueled insanity of the city at that time, and wanted this new generation of Canes to be just as bad.

So instead of coyly slipping players an “envelope” at a booster dinner – like the smart boosters at every other school do – Nevin decided to be flashy. Parties, hookers, yachts, abortions, whatever. Let’s not just break NCAA laws. Let’s break real laws. We’re the Canes, baby. We can do whatever we want.

But ask any cocaine cowboy who got gunned down in the 1980s: When you try and draw attention to yourself, it’s not always from the right people.

THEY’LL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO HATE THE U

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When you’re brashly tossing aside people’s values, they rejoice when your cockiness catches up to you. And that is what’s happening to The U. Were it just TVs and cash, Dick Vitale wouldn’t be calling us a “disgrace.”

But because it was trips to high-end strip clubs and hooker parties on yachts, Middle America thinks UM should get the death penalty. Paying Reggie Bush or Cam Newton to come to your school is one thing. Getting pros for the entire 7th Floor Crew is quite another.

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And so it is Miami has once again managed to become the dirtiest, most disliked program in the nation without even having to win a game. USC and Ohio State tried, but there’s only one U. Maybe this new “Us against the world” feeling will motivate these new Hurricanes to become the destructive force they were 20 years ago. Or maybe we’ll remain a mediocre program and once we’re off our two years’ probation return to bowl games named after fast food chains. No matter. Nevin Shapiro has done his job.  America hates Miami, and all is right with the world.

Related Categories: Miami: Local News, Miami: Sports News,

About the Author: Matt Meltzer is a featured columnist at Miami Beach 411.

See more articles by Matt Meltzer.

See more articles by Matt Meltzer

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9 Comments on

"Once Again, Everyone Hates Miami. And That’s How We Like It."

Blackford Oakes says:

All I got out of this was sugarCANE.

Like not even VT gives a F about UM.

Posted on 08/18/2011 at 8:21 PM

Mike LaMonica says:

“Let’s not just break NCAA laws. Let’s break real laws.” I effin’ love it!

Posted on 08/18/2011 at 9:24 PM

Carlos Miller says:

“As a matter of fact is seems that the only thing Nevin Shapiro did that didn’t involve prostitutes was hand oversized checks to Donna Shalala.”

Of course, we can argue that Shalala was the prostitute in that setting.

Posted on 08/18/2011 at 10:03 PM

LosingandLosing says:

Miami fans are retarded.  If you’re going to cheat (yes, all of this can be grouped as cheating), at least have a great team.  And if you don’t think a lot of this was wrong beyond offending ‘traditional American values’, you are just another blind fan

“So instead of coyly slipping players an “envelope” at a booster dinner – like the smart boosters at every other school do”

every other school?  that’s just making sh*t up.

Posted on 08/19/2011 at 9:46 AM

Blackford Oakes says:

” And so it is Miami has once again managed to become the dirtiest, most disliked program in the nation without even having to win a game. USC and Ohio State tried, but there’s only one U.”

I’m rubbing my head on this one. Don’t confuse being disliked because you’re a traditional winning program, to kids from the muck acting like immature assholes because their higher ups let them.

There’s a huge difference between discipline and stupidity.

Posted on 08/19/2011 at 11:26 AM

Stroh's Corner says:

Any one of you people making comments about this kind of thing not happening at your school, then it’s probably because you don’t have a football program. Proof is not necessary; these “benefits” happen at every NCAA football school. To deny that is simply being naive.
Secondly, who said anything about VT? Talk about a school that is a non-factor. Go ahead and win just one championship and then come back to the discussion.

Finally, ask yourself this question: If you’re 18-19-20 years old and have the natural ability to play good football, and someone came up to you offering you and teamates to sit at a VIP table all paid for on Miami beach, would you say no? Would you wave off thousands of dollars in gift money because you played an awesome game? “No, please… it’s against NCAA rules.” PLEASE!!
The numerous programs besides Miami that are in the crosshairs now are just a cross section of the NCAA football program. New rules need to be established. Old punishments are not doing the trick.

Posted on 08/19/2011 at 2:48 PM

Blackford Oakes says:

“Any one of you people making comments about this kind of thing not happening at your school, then it’s probably because you don’t have a football program.”

I’m making comments because UM’s ex AD handed down severe sanctions ( 30 scholarships, 2 yr ban from bowl games and vacating 04 championship) at my college.

The lessons have been learned and the hatchet has been buttoned downed. On SC’s own, they even handed a two game suspension for silly statements the top TB made that was caught on TMZ. It’s boiled down to self policing because the stakes are too high.

A college is responsible to mold young people to become mature and responsible people. If a college encourages or doesn’t stop ” thug ” behavior, I’d say they’re the major culprit. The piper still needs to be paid.

How someone claims to be proud of such behavior, is probably the same person complaining how f’d up things function in Miami.

Trojan land is closely watching what happens. All we ask is a fair across the board treatment throughout the system. If other, NCAA needs to give back 04 thrashing of OK in the Orange Bowl.

If I went to fUCLA, I wouldn’t even be posting here.

Posted on 08/19/2011 at 4:14 PM

JudgeJudy says:

That’s right.  Nevermind that George Merrick’s rolling over in his grave.  Forget that the University is an institution of ethical behavior and achievement. 
All that is secondary to “swagger” and to “Miami”.
I forget that sometimes, and I need articles like this fresh approach from Matt to remind me
not to forget to applaud guys like Shipiro who tear at the fabric of our youth here in Florida.
We should remember to hold them up in their prison cells and applaud them as heros.

Posted on 08/20/2011 at 5:39 AM

Blackford Oakes says:

From what I’m learning, UM might have never been an institution.

The week before my first class, I transfered to USC as a sophmore, it was basic knowlege we we entering adulthood. The University made that clear. I’m sure SC’s program preached the same thing for the FB program.

Having said that. I’m digging UM backers approach and placing the onus on adults. At SC, a different approach was applied - even removed anything to do including removing Reggie Bush’s memory from including the replica Heisman from Heritage Hall.

Glueing your lips to NCAA didn’t help. We still got slapped with unreasonable sanctions. All for activities that took place 125 miles off campus.

Even though USC and UM aren’t natural enemies, were now tied at the hip dealin with NCAA BS. In the spirit of kinship I invire you to sign a petetion. It deals witrh removing SC’s last year of sanctions. You can make your voice heard at http://www.petitiononline.com/usc2011/petition.html

Like it or not, sanctions suffered by USC will play a role in what happens at UM.

Lets gang up on the NCAA and make them reform

Posted on 08/21/2011 at 11:34 AM

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